My $100 advice!

Today I ate some avocado. It's supposed to be good for your heart. I wish my heart would tell that to my thighs. They don't know the difference between good fat and bad fat.

My love/hate relationship with food began when I was a baby, I think. My mom said I used to make Christmas trees with my spinach. I don't remember that, but I do remember holding dinner parties in high school. My sister and I made baked Alaska and Louisiana Pork chops Creole. We also had a Hawaiian dinner party with friends. Chicken Waikiki Beach, Volcano Mashed potatoes, Hawaiian Brownies a la mode, and a Southern Comfort punch that we weren't even old enough to drink. Mama didn't know about that! I didn't know too many High School kids who had dinner parties. I experimented with omelets and a chocolate jelly roll that my mother warned me was very difficult to pull off. I somehow managed it.

The difference between then and now is that I could make all that food and not eat a bite! Now I eat the whole thing! My mother and I would have contests to see who could go the longest without eating. We'd go five days! I get way too bitchy if I go without one meal now.

I actually convinced myself I was going to get lipo. I did some research, and even went for a consultation. I'll share that info, so you won't have to spend the $100 bucks. There are two procedures that are really popular right now. One is called Smart Lipo. The doc I consulted with is new at the procedure. It costs between $3500 and $3900 "per zone." A zone is lower stomach, upper stomach, back, inner thighs, outer thighs. They will only remove fat from one zone at a time. That means four or five procedures, if you want all those areas done. That's between $10,000 and $14,000. If all of that wasn't enough to motivate my diet, he told me I'd want to bring a shower curtain with me because I'd be leaking fat and other fluids after the procedure. I can deal with grease from my Fillet O Fish on the seat before it becomes body fat, but after is a little different story!

The other procedure is called Vaser Liposolution. Similar procedure with a smaller needle than regular lipo. Both have less down time, but this one requires a hospital stay, at least with this doctor. The woman I spoke with said you'd want to stay in the hospital. I said, "not really!" Without naming names, she bashed the other doctor in town saying how scary it would be to go to someone who was new a the procedure. . . "oops, there's a jugular!" she said. "We'll have to do better next time."

I should thank her. Saved me a lot of money. They are all a bit nuts. I think I'll have a nose job instead. At least it won't grow back!

Here's my tip for looking good at the gym. Place your equipment beside the largest person in the class. You're sure to look small. Don't worry, there's always someone bigger than you! Of course, all the skinny chicks surrounding me probably have the same theory!

I think I'm going through withdrawal. No wine for the past three days, but I've had a headache for three days. What's up with that? It doesn't pay to detox.

Well, in spite of the headache, I've been eating lots of veggies and fruit, and drinking water with a squirt of fresh lemon. Makes it way easier to tolerate.

Fresh herbs from the garden help with the veggies too. For dinner, I cooked up some fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, and garlic with fresh sage and rosemary from the garden. That's totally guilt free. Whether you're making high or low fat food, you should grow some fresh herbs. It makes everything taste better. Bon Appetite!